Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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