Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

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(631): peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york http://tfl.nu/xd1t

Replies (13) Good night (2942) Bad night (634)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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(501): he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/mrvl

Replies (21) Good night (4282) Bad night (856)
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(713): View more from Texas

Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

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(713): Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake. http://tfl.nu/b27h

Replies (19) Good night (647) Bad night (5153)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.

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(228): yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight. http://tfl.nu/g16n

Replies (10) Good night (3481) Bad night (1610)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

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(+44): I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years. http://tfl.nu/naiq

Replies (5) Good night (2956) Bad night (856)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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(781): What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body? http://tfl.nu/d4hy

Replies (11) Good night (1575) Bad night (552)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

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(248): Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'. http://tfl.nu/4pwa

Replies (10) Good night (5459) Bad night (770)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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(804): I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years. http://tfl.nu/h8vw

Replies (8) Good night (1920) Bad night (730)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's the stuff legends are made of

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(847): Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate? (412): That's the stuff legends are made of http://tfl.nu/wudz

Replies (12) Good night (1263) Bad night (1029)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.

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(901): Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/fm4c

Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (484)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

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(202): Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want. http://tfl.nu/8zxe

Replies (11) Good night (1618) Bad night (333)
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(512): View more from Texas

Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.

(254): View more from Texas

That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka

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(512): Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art. (254): That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka http://tfl.nu/nocy

Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (301)
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(217): View more from Illinois

He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "

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(217): He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick " http://tfl.nu/w39y

Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (243)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.

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(970): Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way. http://tfl.nu/gitq

Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (624)
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(330): View more from Ohio

ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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(330): ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/f5ew

Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (233)

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