Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity

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  (619): I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity http://tfl.nu/ljia
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (483)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

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  (602): OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now http://tfl.nu/twmw
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (668)
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  (310): View more from California

  All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

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  (310): All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive http://tfl.nu/gj7g
  Replies (4) Good night (1317) Bad night (471)
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  (626): View more from California

  Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.

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  (626): Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/kgjr
  Replies (16) Good night (4297) Bad night (665)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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  (416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica
  Replies (16) Good night (1127) Bad night (3749)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.

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  (812): When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night. http://tfl.nu/n33w
  Replies (21) Good night (11827) Bad night (680)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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  (513): you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her http://tfl.nu/dn9c
  Replies (48) Good night (796) Bad night (5400)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

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  (603): I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels. http://tfl.nu/ciic
  Replies (28) Good night (3464) Bad night (1616)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?

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  (778): He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I? http://tfl.nu/r6dy
  Replies (19) Good night (1938) Bad night (3560)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has

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  (519): She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has http://tfl.nu/fgce
  Replies (14) Good night (3497) Bad night (720)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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  (519): Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen. http://tfl.nu/rpyn
  Replies (9) Good night (2275) Bad night (765)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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  (204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1620) Bad night (870)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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  (541): i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts. http://tfl.nu/e6qn
  Replies (5) Good night (2105) Bad night (508)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.

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  (281): I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that. http://tfl.nu/d3y7
  Replies (7) Good night (484) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them

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  (706): I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them http://tfl.nu/sm11
  Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (634)

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