they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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