Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
