your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
