Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
