I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
