So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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