Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize