at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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