yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
