i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My penis needs a shock collar
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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