Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
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Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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