I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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