I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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