dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
