she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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