Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
