I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
