i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize