is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
