what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
