she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?