come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
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Boobs are out for the taking
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility