So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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