i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
