Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
