In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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