Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My liver just broke up with me...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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