Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
