the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
