What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
