our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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