drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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