Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
