Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
