It was confusing and full of hummus
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
