The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
