Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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