Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
