My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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