Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize
