I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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