your parents love me but you hate me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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