When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
