writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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