I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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