dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
