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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
