I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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