So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
