You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
