So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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