im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
