I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize