i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize