i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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