Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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