some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
