Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone shattered a urinal.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize