She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
