You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
