She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
