walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize