Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
