And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
