I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize